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With every life event we can expect both opportunity for personal and/or professional growth and major/minor losses. Confronted with a life transition we are met with unexpected changes and decisions on how to navigate a disruption in our life. Tools for coping that have worked in the past may now be inadequate and perhaps detrimental to our emotional growth. But what to do? Challenged with that question and the confusion and/or uncertainty of choices can freeze us in a state of inertness. In other words…Stuck!
Everyone has habits. Some of these patterns are positive, while others are negative. Nevertheless, they tend to make up parts of a routine that we perform every day. If you stop and think about it right now, you can probably list a few of your habits and patterns that have formed within your routine.
Unfortunately, sometimes these habitual and static behaviors can leave you feeling stuck. When you feel as though your life has become stagnant, it can dig you even deeper into a hole if you’re not sure what to do about it.
Most people can recognize when they feel stuck in life. But, because static patterns are hard to break, it’s not always easy to know what to do about it. That can hold you back from experiencing new things or making positive changes. It can also lead to issues like depression or feelings of hopelessness.
What can you do to get unstuck?
This approach might seem counterproductive, and yet, one of the reasons people often feel stuck is because they take on too much. What’s worse is that sometimes they try to do every task flawlessly.
People who develop static patterns in their lives tend to be perfectionists. They never think anything is good enough. These thoughts can quickly become distracting and leave you feeling even more stuck.
When you have too much on your plate, and you’re working obsessively to make sure it’s all perfect, you’ll have issues finding satisfaction in the things you do. It’s an easily-repeated pattern that will leave you feeling unfulfilled and stuck in the same negative cycle of dissatisfaction.
Instead, take on fewer things. You don’t always have to say yes to every request or favor. If you want to put everything you have into a few projects, that’s fine. But, understand that failure does happen, and it can be a blessing to learn from it.
When you identify the things that are keeping you stuck, you can start to focus on how to change them. You have to be the one to decide to change those patterns. No one else can do it for you.
Identifying those patterns and believing you can change them is one of the first steps toward breaking free from a static cycle. Don’t let your past dictate your future.
What would your life look like if you could become unstuck? What goals do you have in your career, personal growth, or relationships? How would you overcome these patterns trying to take over again?
Sometimes, visualizing what your life could be if you got rid of your patterns can be a strong motivator. It’s creating a game plan in your head focused on a change and the desired outcome.
If it helps, you can even write these things down and create a concrete plan for yourself. For some, seeing that plan on paper and knowing that it’s feasible is all it takes to start making active changes to stop specific patterns.
Changing the habits that keep you feeling stuck is ultimately up to you. You choose your habits, not the other way around—though sometimes it can feel like it!
Still, even though you’re in control, you don’t have to go through the journey on your own. A support system of family, friends, and even a mental health professional can go a long way in helping you to break free from static cycles. Think of it as a helping hand coming to pull you from the quicksand of uncertainty when you can’t get out on your own.
I invite you to contact me if you’re feeling stuck and don’t know what to do about it. I can help you navigate through a challenging work, relationship, or life-stage transition. Together we can identify the underlying causes of stagnation, help you break free, and discover a directional pathway for moving forward with your life.
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Everyone desires a meaningful life and the opportunity to live up to one’s potential. You don’t have to navigate stress and uncertainty alone, and/or feel caught in a spiral of confusion on how to accomplish your goals. I invite you to contact me to schedule a free consultation, by phone or in person. I’m happy to discuss your particular needs and answer any questions you have about beginning therapy, my approach, and my practice.
In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, I now offer a TeleTherapy option, for all new and returning clients, utilizing a HIPAA-compliant platform Doxy.me. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule an appointment or free consultation. Wishing you Good Health!